You're right, you're right- that was too easy. Ok, let's try these two scenarios; One- a beautiful girl that you have admired from afar, and finally befriended and are happily dating, only to split two months later as friends. Two - A married couple having an argument, and the husband ends up sleeping on the couch. Now, this is a little tougher - you may be tempted to say true love is the first one, because at least they were happy, right? However, I am here to tell you, that is incorrect. The "true love" scenario would be the second one. Even though it was not a happy situation, the man didn't leave. He stuck around, willing to work it out. That shows true devotion.
BONUS ROUND! Can you handle it? Ok, here we go. First predicament - You cancel your date with your high school girlfriend to take your sister to her doctor's appointment. Second Predicament - You surprise your boyfriend and give him tickets to see his favorite sports team, which cost you two pay checks.
Stumped? Think this is still ridiculously easy? Would you be surprised if I told you the true love was actually the first scenario? A little confused? Let me explain this one:
Today, we often confuse TRUE LOVE with INFATUATION. Though it was sweet to save up money to buy your boyfriend tickets to a game, that doesn't equal truly loving someone. I often give money to people for various things, and it doesn't equal love. I know that's confusing: the second situation is a nice gesture, and it does show true sacrifice. However, the love the brother shows for his sister in the first scenario is far greater. He cancel's a date with a girl he could "love", to take the girl he has always "loved" to something as trivial as checkup. He is showing who is most important to him- his sister- by choosing her over his own happiness.
Woah, woah, woah- No need for the tone. I am in no way knocking your high school sweetheart. I am sure you do love them. However, there is a chance you could just be infatuated with your sweetie pie. However, I am not you, and I can never really truly be the judge of what you feel. Just in case though, let me break down some different types of love for you, thanks to my lovely friends the Greeks.
1.Eros Love
Eros love- infatuation, "exotic love". Everyone falls into this category at some point. It is a selfish love, but it serves a purpose. Essentially, all relationships start with Eros' love. It is being attracted to someone, basically finding someone visually appealing. However, Eros love is often continued in a relationship. When it does, that's when relationships "don't work out"; you lose interest in that person, and essentially "fall out of love with them" when you really haven't been attracted to them at all. That is the danger of Eros love- it is a selfish, indulgent kind of love. In our youth, we often live in this, and don't realize that it is a shallow way to live. You may be getting lots of sex and be really happy, but that spot inside of you, in the pit of your stomach- it just never really feels right. If you don't mind living in this kind of love, then do it. Just acknowledge it for what it truly is. 2. Philos Love
Philos love- a love that comes from friendship. This is the kind of love lasting relationships usually start with; a friendship that leads into something more. This is also the kind of love you have for your friends. It is a better love then the first- but still, it is not True Love. Whereas Eros love is based more off of "self interest"; what you get out of it, Philos love is based more on a give and take kind of relationship. Both partners benefit from the relationship. This is clearly demonstrated in your love for your friends. You pick your friends because you like them essentially, and you guys have fun together. You don't hang out with someone because you think their fun but you're a dud right? You both love spending time together, and care about each other. Alot of relationships live in this kind of love, and though you could be happy in this and maintain a mostly happy relationship, you would be giving up the chance of the greatest love- True Love. Which brings us to the grand finale-
3. Agape
Agape love- unconditional love. This is "True Love", loving someone even when you could get nothing out of it. Now, knowing this, let's go back to our examples. The husband who didn't leave- he was willing to take his partners abuse and try again out of love. He loved her enough to take her silly insults and trash talking. He knew deep down they'd work it out, because love isn't always easy. The brother who took his sister to the doctor- he got nothing out of that. He even missed out on a good time, just so he could be there for his sister (who, in all reality, probably didn't even thank him.) The brother didn't care though, because she needed him, and he loved her enough to give it all up to be there for her. This is also the kind of love we feel for our parents, that no matter how much we yell and scream at each other, cry, wail, and moan, we know that we still love those bossy adults. We seek their approval (even when they don't deserve it) [Don't tell my parents I said that!! haha] This is the kind of love, (I HOPE) all you know you deserve in a partner- someone who will take your complaining, annoying butt no matter what. This is the kind of love I have for my parents, sister, family, and few select others. Who have my respect, and in turn, have an agape love for me in return. That is what true love is.
Now this IS the Olive Blog- so you know we're going to take it even deeper. This Agape love, this is the kind of love Christians talk about. A love that is not deserved, and can never fully be returned. As humans, we will never be able to have a perfect agape love- that's why we have divorces, break ups, etc. What we thought was Agape, could have just been Eros or Philos. However, I believe that there is a God loves you with the full meaning of Agape. That is something to feel safe in.
You don't have to be in a relationship to know what "true love" is. You can be in a relationship, however, and only know infatuation. I often suffer a bad case of infatuation- however, I can catch myself before hearts are broken in the process (usually). If you haven't been so lucky, don't give up on love. Don't give up, because once you experience that Agape love, that "True Love", you will be so greatful. Some of us won't really get that till we have had many trials, some of us are smart/lucky enough to find it on the first try. Don't be fooled though- Eros and Philos; those feel good because they are good. Don't trick yourself into thinking your love is something it's not- look at your parents. How you love your siblings. How you love your friends. How you love your partner. If it's right, then it's right. If not- fix it. Most of all, love with all your heart. No matter what anyone says, Love is Good.
i LOVE you guys,
Olive :)
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