When I walk up the stairs, I am not dainty. My mom refers to it as "a baby elephant". Not that I am big, by any means! However, since I have such short legs, it takes a little more effort to get up the stairs than somebody who was average height. Thus, it sounds like I am jumping on every step and purposely finding every creak in the stairs when I go up them.
That's kind of like my life. I cannot tread lightly-it's either all or nothing. It sounds really extreme, but life is extreme. I am what my friend Rod told me today, "really good, genuine, innocent." The innocent, though, are usually the one's who end up making the sacrifices. I don't mind it, though.
That sounds positively ludicrous, I understand. I have a big heart though, and I love to give. I love to make someone smile, to make them happy, to do anything to turn their day around. The world, in turn, is not as kind. It does not often return the favor, (the kind word, act in return, smile, etc.) Mostly because it's evil, but also, I think because it does not know how.
There's this commercial for this new Ashton Kutcher movie coming out, and in the trailer, he holds the door open for this beautiful girl. She looks up at him in astonishment, and says, "No one has ever done that for me before. Do it again." If someone as beautiful as her doesn't even get the respect she deserves, how can I expect to be looked at in a similar light? It's a little disheartening, but in the end, I know the World's approval doesn't really matter. I tend to forget sometimes though, to err is man.
According to C.S. Lewis, everything (that is man) is born with a sense of wrong and right, from God. However, it's not an impulse, because we don't always act on it. I totally agree with this. Sometimes, though, things seem to be in a gray area. Let me give you an example:
I have this totally gorgeous best friend, Ronnie. She is thin, beautiful; inside and out, funny, athletic and such a great friend. That is side one. On the other end is PSM. He is beautiful too, and though I don't know him as well, I know we'd be a good match. Call it teen infatuation, lunacy,stupid, or a whisper of God, sometimes a girl just knows these things. So who do you pick, your best friend, or someone who you think could change your life? Many teen movies have been created based on this pivotal question. Let's break it down a little:
(A) A boy is just a boy. He is looking for different things than you are. So, though he may be so beautiful to you, he could be after something totally different. I often run into this problem. (B) If it's meant to happen, it will happen. Why risk ruining a friendship, when if it is going to happen, let it take it's natural course, and get to keep both?
The choice to me is obvious. I have to go with Ronnie, because she means so much more to me. She has always been true, and choosing PSM, that would hurt her. How could I do that to someone else? Sure, it has been done to me, even by one of my own "best friends". I could never do that though, because to lose someone like Ronnie, that is sad. Friends are easily replaced, but the bonds are not as easily repaired. She is too special to be hurt over some flight of fancy. So the sacrifice is given, but it's not really a sacrifice anymore. I want to do it, because it's important to me. Ronnie is important to me.
On the flip: do you sit quietly passing by the time, waiting for Prince Charming to come find you? Maybe. I haven't quite figured it out. I am learning this, though. Sometimes, people find their true love earlier than they expected, like in high school. Sometimes, people find their true love in college. Sometimes, people don't find their true love till way later on in life. Sometimes, people never find their true love, because their true love was robbed of them.
This evening I went to play Quelf with some friends, at a close friend's house, named Miley. She is beautiful, feisty, and fun. Has a beautiful heart, and she wears it on her sleeve. She is head over heels for this boy, and I know she is. I saw it there. She is worried she is not beautiful enough for him. This makes me sad.
Real Talk: Every single girl is beautiful. I truly believe this, not just believe, but I see it. Now, I'm not every girl's biggest fan- but it doesn't make her less beautiful. Not every girl is going to date the football star or the worship leader, but it doesn't mean that man she ends up with is a loser. He is just the perfect match for her. Simple enough.
For the Girls: You are beautiful. Oh my goodness, you can't even begin to comprehend how beautiful you are. You deserve doors to be held open for you, for boys to pull out your chairs. Don't laugh at me, or roll your eyes. It's only when you expect less, that you get less. On the other hand, don't be a diva. It's a relationship, not a courtship. You have to put in some effort too. How are boys supposed to be enraptured by your beauty if you don't make it known who it's for?
For the Boys: You don't realize how scared of rejection girls are. We think (some of) you are so great, even beautiful. It hurts to know you don't feel the same way. So cut us a little slack- if you likes us, man up, and make it known. If it's a girl you want to get to know, or a girl who is your best friend, shake a tail feather, brother. Even the most homely girl won't wait around forever. Some other boy will notice her gorgeous heart and snatch that up. It's a catch, not a hand out. Don't undermine your worth by going for cheap when you can go couture. That's all I'm saying.
I have been burnt many times, for coming on too strong, not being pretty enough, etc. That really hurts, let me tell you. One of my former friends once told me it was because I was aiming out of my league. That's a joke- leagues aren't real. I was trying to get something that wasn't meant to be. I'm glad it didn't happen.
I told my friend this blog wasn't about boys. It seems to be turning into that, so let me steer right. Here was my point- right vs. wrong. We are all born with the notion, or we wouldn't know we were doing wrong. The gray area that has evolved, you can thank the World for that. So when stuck in the gray, do Nothing. Reach for the Hands that will save you. That may not be how you choose to believe or live. Don't let me condemn you- I'm just saying. If you're ever stuck in the gray, get out. Baby Elephant, gray doesn't look good on anyone.
Dance if it makes you happy,
Olive :)
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