It got your attention, didn't it? Being blunt usually does- sometimes, it's hard to tell between honesty, bluntness, lying, and not saying anything. I feel like as a teenage girl, my life revolves around those four things. When to speak, when not to speak. Do you really like her hair? Would she really want you to tell her you don't? Does he really like her? Do you tell her that he doesn't? Oy vey. Honesty is always the best policy, but silence is golden... and after all, it's only a white lie. CRAP. How do you decipher the hormonal wave of teenagers and our big mouth's? Lucky for me, after years of trying, failing, and getting in trouble, I have broken it down. I got this.
Why blunts are illegal.
We all know being honest is the best policy-it is, I find, hard to live that way. Some people strive to be honest (like myself) but sometimes, to avoid conflict, we fall into the "i'll-be-honest-please-don't-be-mad-i'm-just-not-going-to-say-anything" category. Some people are the opposite extreme- like our lovely friend Ricky Gervais on the Golden Globes last night. He is being honest with all those celebrities, rather than padding them with superfluous compliments that no one really means. However, he is being rude. I know, we all find that funny, myself included; after all, I am a big SNL fan. [ Status Update: We did not win the trip today, but there is four days left. Fingers Crossed!!] He's being saucy, blunt, "telling it like it is", however you try and sugarcoat it, he is being rude. In this case, was he right to call out those people? No. On the flip, was he being honest? Yes. So do you tell him he's wrong? That leads back into the gray area.
"So, you're saying he should have just lied?" No, I'm not saying that either. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, and are allowed to express them if they can be tastefully done. If he couldn't say anything nice, he shouldn't have spoken at all. That's what should have gone down.
Yeah, yeah, I know, I'm a party pooper. America (or rather the World in general) has blurred lines on what is and is not appropriate. We are all spoon fed this since birth by counselors, ministers, teachers, parents, etc. We don't often see how deep the lie really goes. Let's throw this down:
I was in the fifth grade, and going to my first "sleep away" retreat with my youth group. The supply list said to pack snacks- so my mom, being the sweet heart that she is, packed me a little granola bar, just for me, "so i wouldn't get hungry."
I was mortified. I'd be the only kid without snacks to share! I chewed her out because that's what I had seen other kid's do to their moms. She ended up going to get me better snacks. I seem like a monster, I'm fully aware. What I was feeling inside though, was a different matter.
I went up to my room after I had finished packing and cried. Still, to this day, I look back on that memory, and feel such love in my heart for my mother. How she cared so much for me. It makes me want to cry all over again, and just hold her close. How different this memory could have been if I had shared what I was really feeling, instead, from lack for a better word, a bitch. I so much wanted to be cool, that I hurt other's in the process. It all went back to telling the truth.
Do you get what I'm saying? It's better, in the long run, to just be honest- but if you can't be nice about it, just don't say anything. There really is no reason to lie at all. I have learned that the hard way, especially during my sophomore year of high school. I totally get that it's hard. Trust me, I am still a human, like everyone else.
Thumb Tact
Sometimes though, too much is too much. This brings me back to my "favorite" subject. However, on a different note. Let me introduce you to Dream Crusher. DC, is not, in fact, a Dream Crusher. Not that he is not at fault, but both parties (which means me) are guilty here. He fell into the RG honesty policy. I fell into the "oh God, somebody stop her" category. Let me bring you up to speed.
DC and I were friends way back in the fifth grade, but hadn't spoken since the seventh grade. It is now sophomore year, and I am feeling like a loser because I was still single. (So naive, so naive...) I had just been introduced to the world of Facebook. I'm still a newbie, so I'm not sure what is and is not appropriate (I'm still not quite sure...) I got a glimpse of DC in a mutual friend's photos, and he had turned beautiful. I was still, well, awkward. I was so convinced that he was still the greatest boy ever, and decided he was the One.
I came on a little strong... like, wow-is-that-a-skunk strong. None of my friends really had boyfriends, so they couldn't really guide me, and of course my parents were "totes lameos" so it's not like I told them. So I posted tons of long comments and creepy photo comments on his photos....
Needless to say, it did not end well. DC was very cool, and told very snarky jokes at my expense to all his friends, which made me cry for weeks. Also, he held a grudge for a long time, and at summer camp, my infatuation was still at the height of amusement. If only I had known...
I have developed a rule of thumb: tact. True, I haven't quite mastered it, because I am still very hesitant in new ventures, but I know you can't overdo tact. When things need to be said, say them. If you're questioning if it's appropriate or not, don't say it. If it's going to hurt someone else, don't say it, or word it wisely.
My mom has a saying she teaches to kids which is a spin off of "the sticks and stones" expression. It goes like this, " sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will ALWAYS hurt me." We can say that words don't affect us, but we would be liars. It's your tact, how you handle it, and how you manage yourself, that shows the kind of person you are. It's not easy, but the number one step to being classy.
Stay in school and learn to cross you i's and dot your t's
Olive :)
{ Note: School starts back up tomorrow, so I won't be blogging twice a week, probably on Tuesdays and the weekend. So keep checking. Happy MLK Jr. Day! :) }
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